:: If given the platform, would you share the biggest fuck-up of your life? ::
At a glance, most people think public speaking comes naturally to me. I’ve been gliding across stages for so long that I’ve mastered the ability to work through my anxiety. It comes in waves and drowns me in self-doubt right before I stand in front of the crowd. Minutes before I give my talk, I pray to God I won’t utter complete gibberish.
It always helps when I see familiar faces. My parents and or my friends give me some sort of relief, but it’s not like they can climb up on the platform with me. I’m often surrounded by so many people yet I still feel alone. But imagine if, all those years ago, I had chosen to remain silent. Sure, I could have impacted the world in other ways, but look at the powerful effect I’ve had because I was able to find my voice. If you’ve considered public speaking but you’re too afraid, or you doubt whether or not you should build a brand, I’m here to tell you that you can and you should.
This talk hosted at Fuckup Nights reminded me of that. The organization’s approach is as radical as the name: since the first event, they’ve hosted monthly events (approximately 1000 events per year) where industry-leading professionals (approximately 1 million attendees worldwide) candidly share their biggest mistakes and the difficult lessons they learned along the way to rooms full of strangers. Fuckup Nights has had a constantly growing global reach, with events in more than 330 cities across 86 countries in over 30 languages.
I was originally invited to speak in 2018 but politely declined because I had no clue what story to tell or how to deliver it. I really struggled with what pile of mess to unravel and whether it was time to air out the dirty laundry that I was still sitting in. After replaying this conversation inside my head a million times, I politely declined only to regret it later. But Marsha Druker, the founder of the Toronto Chapter, was extremely patient with me. We had coffee on occasion and she really encouraged me and answered all my questions. When Marsha invited me to speak at her event the second time the following year (2019) I accepted the offer without hesitation. I made a firm decision that I’d talk myself into it and that was that.
My creative process flows differently depending on the project (and quite frankly, my mood). I started by creating a mind map of angles for my talk followed by a process of elimination so my best ideas could stand out. When penning a speech I just try to be honest and honor my feelings. I don’t have a magic formula for you, although in the past I’ve referenced Nancy Duarte’s Ted Talk on the secret structure of Steve Job speech and Lisa Nicholas on how to be a world-class speaker. They are both excellent resources you should check out. But what has always worked for me is staying true to myself and speaking from experience. I don’t try to be someone I’m not. I don’t try to make up anything that actually didn’t happen.
This is a world full of keyboard warriors and social media activists who are all hashtags and no action. When you speak to people, show them that who you are online is who you are in person. And that you’re doing more than hashtagging. That’s a powerful first step. On this warm August evening, three women spoke up about effing up. Here are our stories.