Free yourself from the guilt that often comes from having to decline an invitation or opportunity. Despite what you may tell yourself, you don’t have to be all things to all people. If you simply do not have the capacity – mental, emotional, or physical – then say that. And without the need to explain any of the nitty gritty details either. You don’t owe that to anyone.
“While this sounds like a great opportunity, I have to politely decline as I do not have the capacity to take this on at this present moment.”
Give yourself the freedom to say “NO” more often. My simple belief is that I’m a super attractor, and even if I miss out on something now, it’s okay because more good things will find me.
This was the reminder I had to give myself this morning when I declined an invitation to The White House. The minute I received the personal invite, I knew I’d have to fly out the next day, which meant I’d have to immediately clear my entire schedule for the remainder of the week and rearrange my life to accommodate. My initial thought was about all the photo-ops for Instagram and all the connections I would make by attending. And I then thought about the person who invited me, and how grateful I was that I’d been considered to be in such a powerful room alongside them. But, within the same breath, I also had to think about just how exhausted I am; I move in two weeks, and I much rather stay at home in a bathrobe and face mask handling the responsibilities I’ve been avoiding for far too long.
My girlfriend thinks I’m nuts, but I call it maintaining my peace of mind. Life has taught me the importance of showing up for opportunities, both with swiftness and urgency. But if I show up to these spaces depleted and mentally spent, physically being in the room won’t matter if I’m not in the mental space to leverage all that that moment could’ve been. Don’t get me wrong, I love everything about my work-life, but when I need a minute to breathe, some shit just gotta go on hold.
My therapist told me recently that experiences hold no meaning until we give it one, and there are times when I’ve had to weigh my options, based on what was right for me. In the end, I have the final choice, and that can’t be determined by what may be deemed popular, or in line with what my peers would do. As you climb your career ladder, remember to lean more into your own intuitiveness. Only then will your values become clearer, which, in turn, makes tough decisions easier.