My husband and I pulled into an Ikea parking lot yesterday morning in his 2004 silver Volvo V7OR. He’s the only man I’ve ever known with such extensive knowledge about cars; the type who’d enjoy nothing more than to talk about them and or work on them all day, everyday. He claims to dislike driving my Range Rover because it’s a tad too luxe for his taste. But if you gave him a fixer upper to tinker around with or better yet, left him alone in a junkyard for 24 hours, I guarantee he’d return home with a vehicle he’s built from scratch.
It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. I admire a man who shares a deep passion for a hobby of his own.
Around this time last week, while we snuggled up on the couch watching the third instalment from The Santa Clause trilogy, he mentioned that he’d made plans to meet up with some friends. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. But eventually, like any nosey wife would, I pried for a few more details. It didn’t take much prodding for him to tell me that he was looking forward to meeting up with a group of friends he called his “Volvo crew.” For a few years now, he’s been part of two different Facebook groups for owners with similar car models—Volvo and BMW. Both groups hosted regular in-person events throughout the year, and offered a space for its members to talk shop, and exchange trader secrets.
On occasional weekends, the small group of men got together at a local Ikea. Yesterday, I decided to tag along for the first time. We backed our car neatly into the lineup of about 20 other Volvos on the west-side of the empty lot. One by one, each member stepped out into the cold brisk weather. With rosy cheeks and shivering handshakes, they quickly exchanged pleasantries before heading inside to enjoy a light breakfast.
I was one of only two women present, but I fit right in. Sitting next to my husband, I listened intently to the discussion taking shape around me. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, I peppered their conversation with industry related questions to the topics at hand, and in return, I learned a lot from our new friends. From cherished childhood memories and favorite car models to passion projects to why they joined the group, I unexpectedly had such a great time.
It’s easy to stick to the same crowds and engage in the same routine activities. The advice you’ve probably heard time and time again is to connect with people who share mutual interests. But, I want to challenge that. Instead, I want you to try connecting with people on topics you know nothing about. I actually find a bit of excitement in the initial unease I feel before attempting something different, entering into a new environment or spending time with a group of people who I seemingly have nothing in common with.
What would it take for you to broaden your perspective by doing something that scares you or to pursue a subject without any prior knowledge or experience?
In this instance, I was with my partner so there was some familiarity. But even on my own time, I make a concerted effort to color outside the lines any chance I get. When I do, it always proves itself to be worthwhile. I like to learn. Love, even. But as a naturally curious person, I like to gain an understanding about a variety of things that have little or nothing to do with my core skill set. For instance, the recent move into my new home inspired me to learn about interior design. Engaging in content from Jim Kwik–the brain coach–prompted me to look into eating more brain foods. This past year, I picked up scrapbooking so I could memorialize my life’s greatest memories. And although I’m not really a DIY girlie in the least, there’s something so calming about making my own floral arrangements to brighten up my week.
People have told me that they don’t know where to make new adult friends. Well, my adventure this past weekend all started with a Facebook group, of all places. Despite what we may think about the app, there’s a Facebook group for just about any topic you can think of.
I’ve joined enough communities over the years to know that your tribe exists, even for nerds like me. When I was in elementary school, I joined the stamp and chess club. And even back then, I knew that you couldn’t get what you truly needed by watching from the sidelines; you needed to get in the game. To receive the most out of any given experience, you have to actively participate by inserting yourself into the opportunity.
So this week, the challenge is simple: dust off your Facebook profile, think about your desires, and type in a few key words. I bet you’ll be surprised where you end up.