Quick Tip: Never be afraid to ask the uncomfortable question; especially when your money is involved. A few months ago, I was tapped to speak at an event that I was immediately excited to be part of. The organization was one I admired, and the event in question spoke directly to my interests. I just knew the audience would be in for an enlightening conversation, filled with evergreen industry insights.
The problem: the initial discussion didn’t mention a participation fee. In my early speaking days, and given the organization, I would’ve made the assumption that they simply didn’t have the budget to cover my speaker fee. And, boy, would I have been wrong. I decided to reach out to the event organizers for a bit more information and, not only was there a budget set aside for speakers, it was a rather sizable amount. If I’d stuck with my initial assumption, I would’ve played myself dearly.
Throughout my speaking career, I’ve learned that you only get what you’re brave enough to ask (and negotiate) for. So many times I’ve seen people leave money on the table all because they were afraid to ask the dreaded, and often uncomfortable question: Is there a fee for this?
I released the shame of asking these kinds of questions a long time ago, and over recent years, I’ve taken things a step further to ensure those who share space with me are also given their just due. While this may look different from event to event, it always starts with an honest conversation around pay transparency.
Once I know who else has been booked to be on stage with me, I like to reach out, first with a heartfelt message expressing congrats, followed by a quick pivot to get to business. And if it’s an event featuring a few of my sisters, I take the initiative to start a group chat.
What I love about the approach is that it’s rooted in making sure we all eat. It’s also about creating a safe space where we can discuss fees, and help each other negotiate terms together. The conversation around money, especially for women, is one that’s especially difficult, and must be mastered. So, the more times we’re empowered to ask for our worth (plus tax, thank you!), the easier the habit becomes.
As experts, there will come a time when you’re asked to take your talents to the main stage; be it a panel, fireside chat, or even a keynote. While these opportunities can be the fastest way to build brand visibility and widen your reach, it can also present a problem when you don’t know how much to charge, or what to say yes to when the event budget seems scarce. This is where your network, and using your voice become key. Taking the step to reach out to friends and colleagues to have a transparent discussion around payment can be the difference between walking away empty-handed or with a handsome direct deposit.
If you don’t know how to ask the right questions to the right individuals, you’ll never know what to ask or negotiate for. But that all changes when we collectively commit to being transparent about what we’re offered for both our presence and our expertise.
Now this isn’t to say we can’t work for free, which does happen from time to time. But while exposure is always appreciated, it definitely doesn’t pay the bills. Therefore, it’s important to know what’s available to you before blindly saying yes.
The only way we close the pay gap for women is to be forthright about where we’ve been to make it easier for those coming up behind us. So, the next time you get booked, take a second to do a bit of research. Connect with those who’ll also be there, or reach out to those who’ve been there in previous years. Be bold, ask the right questions, and don’t forget to use the information you’ve gained to charge your worth, and share it with others. There’s more than enough room for all of us.
As someone who loves talking dollars and cents, I’m always here to help anyone in my network find the strategy to make sure you’re fairly compensated. Don’t be shy. Reach out and let’s brainstorm together.