I’m Turning a Blind Eye to the Pressures Often Placed on Moms to Bounce Back
I came sooo close to taking the easy way out with my weight loss journey, but I had to put myself in check. Quick!
For those of you who’ve been following me for a while, you’re probably used to me documenting every aspect of my life, especially my workouts. But after having two babies in two years, the body I was committed to maintaining back then is a shadow of who I am now.
It’s noticeable, I know. In the way my clothes fit, in the reflection I see in the mirror. So much of my postpartum journey has been a personal dedication to holding this new version of myself with gentleness and care.
But, I’ll admit, last week, I almost broke.
While heading to my doctor’s office for a routine checkup, I spent the entire drive there contemplating how I could ask my doc for weight loss medication. I mean, who can blame me? Everyday on these apps, we see women praised for their “snap back” body, and some days it’s hard to see the stretchmarks gracing my now plumper body and offer it the softness I know it deserves.
By the time I parked, however, I had a complete change of heart. This wasn’t just a body that had gotten bigger; it was so much more than that. It was the body that safely held and gave birth to my two beautiful children. It provided them comfort and nurtured them for nine months until they were safely in my arms. It had done the same for me. Each new roll I discover now tells a story of my own resilience.
My body kept *me* safe.
It’s easy to get caught up in the web of images where women are sharing workout results without realizing that behind the curtain is the reality that supplements are the drivers for their quickened progress. So I decided that this time around, I’m turning a blind eye to the pressures often placed on moms to “bounce back,” and giving myself, this body I love so deeply, a full year to feel like myself again.
No pressure, just patience and more self-compassion.
And, I know, for those of us who may be in more highly visible positions, our self-criticism is only further exacerbated by the sounds of expectations that were never ours to begin with. But that stops here.
For the next twelve months, I’m going to take things slow. From private workout sessions to meals that consist of nothing but chicken, veggies, and quinoa, I’m allowing myself room to refamiliarize myself with the boring stuff.
The strength I’m able to tap into when caring for two babies who love being in their mama’s arms (yes, at the same time) is miles ahead of where it was before.
I’m even leaning into new habits so I don’t feel obligated to do it alone. When I first moved into a new neighbourhood, I made attempts to build a community to help create a feeling of being home. But now, I’m taking it a step further by engaging in activities along with the community I’ve built, starting with Karate.
I started the long journey to achieving my Black Belt merely weeks after giving birth to Vincent only to find out some months later that I was pregnant again with my second son, Victory. And so, I was forced to defer my dream momentarily. But I’ve recently been in touch with the academy and I’m excited to fully commit to leveraging Karate as a vehicle to shape my mind and body.
As a former athlete, my mindset was framed to be constantly ready to move; but now as I’ve grown, my renewed mindset reminds me that what I need is a slowed pace that allows change to happen when it’s ready, not forced. That’s what my body is calling for, and I intend to listen.
The best part? I’ve already seen major impacts to my mental health and how I’m now able to maneuver this postpartum journey a second time around.
In the weeks to come, you may notice my workout videos return. But just know that the woman you’ll see is a far cry from the person I was just a few short years ago. I’m starting from scratch, and giving myself grace to introduce myself to, well, myself. It might be messy, I might not land all my moves perfectly, but with each video, know that I’m immensely proud of the woman you’re witnessing.