Throughout my formative years, and well into adolescence, I struggled with my reading and comprehension skills. Given the spaces I occupy today, most people would be surprised to see my grade 9 through 12 transcripts filled with 50’s across the board. On my best day, I was an average C/D student, and to be honest, I barely graduated on time. From elementary school onward, I felt tortured by my education because I had an undiagnosed learning difference.
Even now, as a grown adult, I still exhibit some traces of a processing deficiency. My brain has a difficult time immediately interpreting the information gathered by my senses, which forces me to slow down and process what’s being presented.
It was scary to feel so unsupported, and for a long time, I dismissed traditional education for that very reason. I was frequently bullied by classmates and even had some teachers participate in making my life a living hell, at times. Instead of providing a helping hand, they’d humiliate me, or turn a blind eye to the obvious help I desperately needed and desired.
After battling depression and attempts at self-harm in college, I finally decided to drop out. It felt like the only way to preserve my mental health and regain my self-esteem. At the time, I accepted that traditional ways of learning just weren’t for me, and so, from then on, I was committed to figuring shit out on my own. The day I walked out was the day I turned fully towards the world, and stepped into my new classroom.
But oddly enough, as luck would have it, my career trajectory would land me right back where I started. Y’all know me as a CEO and founder of a celebrity ghostwriting agency, but I’ve dedicated over half my life to mentoring young people. On the side of an already hectic schedule, I also make the time to teach Professional Communications to college students once a week.
I teach for very specific reasons. Traditional textbooks simply aren’t able to keep up with ever-changing industries. By the time young adults graduate, the curriculum is already outdated. Education is a powerful tool, but starting points will always differ for each student. So, instead of complaining or dwelling on the way I often felt about a system that failed me, I decided to actually do something about it.
And while you’re reading this note thinking to yourself, ‘I’m not a teacher so wtf this got to do with me? What can I learn from this?’ I want to remind you that, in fact, you are. Maybe not to a class of 40 students, but every day your energy and words impact someone.
Whether you’re aware or not, each time you engage with someone, it has the ability to become a mentoring moment. During my last semester, on a Friday morning, while studying my lecture for my class at noon, I received a phone call from an unfamiliar voice. My phone number is all over the internet so I figured it was either someone I’ve mentored in the past or a potential client saying hello. It was a combination of both. She proceeded to explain that we met once ten years ago and the conversation we had stayed with her all this time. Due to that heartfelt exchange, she knew when she was ready to make a bold move in her business, in whatever capacity she could, she wanted to hire me. While I can recall this moment with her quite vividly, in that moment, I had no idea of the impact I had left behind.
Another recent example was the kind note I received from a former college student of mine. Ugh! I get so emo when they spin the block and tell me how they feel. But while it’s something I learn to adjust to, in the meantime, I’ll bask in the moments that have allowed me and my teachings to become a permanent imprint on their academic journeys.
By sharing these two examples, my lesson today is to embrace being a role model, a teacher, or a mentor to someone formally, or even by happenstance. Whether intentionally or not, you have the opportunity to light up someone’s world with every interaction. The barista at your local coffee shop, a follower online, a new acquaintance you share a conversation with, or even an old friend you haven’t seen in some time. Life can place you in some unexpected places, what you do while there can often have the ability to change (or save) a life.
A friend of mine, a college dean, recently challenged me with the task of writing down my teaching philosophy. I accepted and have since completed it. And it continues to evolve as I learn more about myself. And my students. While I won’t share every single detail here, it’s played a prominent role in helping me make an even more intentional effort to make my classroom environment special each semester.
But my efforts extend far beyond the classroom, and seep into the conversations and spaces that life places me in. I dedicate my time to sharing the lessons that I’ve learned, offering grace that I wish was extended to me in my most vulnerable moments. Be it my family, friends, colleagues, clients, or strangers I cross paths with, I try my best to live by that famed Maya Angelou quote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Allow yourself to remain impassioned by the life you live and seek to share as much as you learn. Remember, no encounter is in vain. Make them all count.