A passage from my “Pocketbook Diary”
Dear Pocketbook Dairy, June 2012
I’m definitely getting the itch. I’m at a point in my life where I’m thriving in my career(s) and would love to settle down and enjoy the companionship of a man who complements me on various levels. My last meaningful relationship ended roughly 3 years ago and since we’ve disconnected from one another, I’ve taken that time to rediscover who I am and figure out the qualities I’d like in a man and what exactly I want out of a relationship. I know what you’re thinking, “I’m young and that I have time.” Don’t get it twisted, this diary entry is not a desperate call for all single men to contact me right away. I’m simply stating that I am mentally, physically and emotionally ready to take on a partnership with a man who loves God and is of quality.
I’ve dated here and there. It’s fun, it’s interesting, but not fulfilling which is why I’m on a new path of faithfulness to God and purity in my heart. I have a brand new mindset and I’m committed to the idea of courtship. It may be old-fashioned, but believe it or not, it still exists and judging from the successful marriages that consistently surround me, still works!
“The purpose of courting is to allow two people to get to know one another without the confusion of a physical relationship. While dating can be fun and sometimes has no strings attached or any hope for a more permanent union, the goal of courtship is to determine whether two people are a good match for marriage. Ultimately, two people entering a courtship are hoping that the answer will be yes, that they are an ideal match, and that their path will lead to marriage,” says Tanika Chambers, Author of Single, Ready & Waiting.
With every path that my life has taken, I’ve set a goal, practiced patience and remained focus until my dream came to pass. So I’ve been thinking, why not use that same faithfulness in love. I’ve even written it down on my vision board, “Meet a quality man.” And to which I have, but I think it’s time to be more specific and switch up the wording so that I will align myself with a man who is worthy of becoming my husband.
I’ve been through a long winding road of disappointments. I was sexually assaulted at age 13, I’ve been in two physically abusive relationships, and I’ve made some poor decisions that have led me into unhealthy relationships and heartache. In the last while, I’ve realized that a change must come. It’s time to stop entertaining men who do not add value to my life and most importantly, it is time to trust that God has created a man perfectly and wonderfully made just for me.
What I’ve learned about love in my 20s is that it is not to be rushed or forced. Before you will find happiness elsewhere, it should begin from within, not from men. Love does not hurt, it is kind. Love does not cheat, it is loyal and even at its lowest point, it is still to be nurtured. At this point in my life, I am perfectly content with where I am in my career, but I can no longer hide the fact that I am ready to indulge in a deeper connection with whomever God has in store for me. Make no mistake, I’m not in love with the fantasy that most people associate with marriage, I’m coming from a genuine place of excitement knowing that someone special is out there, thinking the same thing I am, at this very second.
Peace & Love,