:: I didn’t conquer anything on my to-do list ::
This time last year I felt like I was stuck. I experienced an unproductive period of my life but in the most beautiful way.
It started with a photo shoot; a family tradition. We’ve been taking cheesy snapshots since I was born. Every year, mom signs the back of the Christmas cards on behalf of the family and stuffs 200 in envelopes to ship them across the world just in time for the holidays. You think I’d be used to it by now but I’m not but I still get annoyed when dad wants to redo the same pose fifty times and when we take forever to get in’formation (bey voice) because no one wants to co-operate and work as a team. My brother has two kids now (which makes my heart burst with joy whenever I say that out loud) so my parents get distracted with sticky kisses, wiping tears and or speaking in ‘child’s play’ to get the little ones to look at the camera.
It’s a process.
But nonetheless, a great way to start the day. I followed family time with a nap and shortly thereafter, drove to North York to pick up my friend Alex. Prior to meeting with him that night, I learned he didn’t have plans for his birthday and even though I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed on my only free Saturday in like 4 months, I couldn’t stand by knowing he’d be alone. Remember T.dot wire?! Ouuuu. Chiiiiiiiile. That’s where we originally met. I’ve known Alex since we were kids.
We decided to go to O’Noir (have you been?!). I’d heard of it many times since its launch but hadn’t visited. The dine-in-the-dark reviews were great. Many people made positive comments about the food and service but I had to experience it for myself. And we did. I’d definitely go again.
We walked around the city, enjoying the cool breeze before making our way home. Alex suggested we take a detour and swing by Drake’s new home that’s currently under construction. We had no reason or agenda. We were just going with the flow. I read a few articles and scrolled past a few posts on my timelines, but never considered driving through that neighborhood. But I’m so glad we did because it surprisingly changed my perspective on a few things.
I’m the founder of a ghostwriting agency and work with high-profile clients all the time, so I don’t get star struck and I don’t get overwhelmed when I’m around wealth. But as a woman who is rarely impressed, pulling up to this neighborhood and then slowly crawling past his driveway…
What?! Wey’ a minute. I didn’t break any laws or rules.
And we definitely didn’t trespass.
So chill.
There was an SUV parked out front with tinted windows and we assumed a guard was perched inside and ready, so we were very careful to keep our distance. It was 2 am and we were both tired. We parked at the side of the street for a minute and sat there in the dark. The roads were quiet, of course. Alex was surprisingly very knowledgeable about who else occupied real estate on this street and how long they lived there. Bruh, he knows way too much random shit – which is also why I like him 🙂 My attention to my friend faded and turned directly to the construction site in front of me. Pictures didn’t do it justice.
Alex is still talking – btw.
While I am exchanging words, thoughts, and feelings with God.
What felt like an hour-long conversation with Him, wasn’t. My watch quickly reminded me that only 3-minutes had passed by. But in the 180 seconds that nearly blew my mind, it was brought to my attention that this house and the large fence in front of it represented something in my life.
Here’s what was going through my head:
The house represented God’s blessings. It was surrounded by a large fence and that fence symbolized obstacles/challenges (in my own life) that have been self-created. To you, this aha moment may sound small, but to me, it was a huge missing puzzle piece that I needed.
You see, it’s not about the mansion. It’s what the mansion represents. In a few seconds, I realized that I’m still involved in some bullshit that has been blocking my own success. Girl. I can’t even tell you what this did for me.
A few minutes later, we made a U-turn and exited the neighborhood. Once I got home, I pulled out my pen and paper and started dreaming even bigger. Not about cars and homes either. I created a stop-doing list, it was time to finally get serious about certain things I wanted. I’m no stranger to goal setting, vision boarding, money mantras and calling out dreams by name, but I feel like I focus too much on what’s ahead and often forget that none of those things will become real if I don’t learn to let go of certain parts of my past.
I’ve learned to let go so new things can flow.
And it’s freed me of feeling emotionally drained or burdened. We carry baggage and struggle with our own private battle behind closed doors. It’s easy to look at someone else’s accomplishments and throw yourself a pity party and complain, “why me.” But my perspective is, “why not me?” I am equally as capable and competent to have the things and experiences I desire.
:: Closing note ::
Never count yourself out of the game. You can’t expect a championship ring if you never go to practice.