God Revealed Himself to Me When I Was 21….

| April 23, 2017

PR -2 (1)

When I was 21, suicidal thoughts came back and depression loomed like a shadow in the night, stealing away my happiness, replacing it with anxiety and despair. Some days I couldn’t find the strength to come up for air. As if I was drowning in oceans, I could barely hold my head above, let alone tread water in. I felt empty. Didn’t feel worthy.

My world was filled with people, yet I still felt alone. My only company was the reflections of my past, I held them nightly. Often waking up in a cold sweat – with only my anxiety laying on the pillow beside me. Leaving me feeling stuck in the grey, somewhere between success and failure. Somewhere between good and great.

At 21, I finally gained the courage to make the great escape – at the subway stop leaning over the edge of the forbidden yellow line. That morning I kissed my parents, my brother and sister goodbye. When they asked me if I was ok, like many times before, I told them “I am fine.” Side note: When I tell you I’m fine, I really mean I’m not. For years, I was drowning in depression, but no one ever cared to ask why.

Instead, I was judged for being different and different is not accepted.

And as the train approaches, I close my eyes and hold my breath. People scream. Lights flash. But amongst the chaos, God revealed himself to me for the first time. As if to say that I wasn’t allowed to throw my gift onto the tracks like discarded trash.

That I, I was a treasure and I just didn’t know it yet.

Peace & Love, 
PRxo

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Category: Arts, Beauty, Blog, Lifestyle, Mentorship

About the Author ()

I am the co-founder of New Girl on the Block, a mentorship platform for millennial women who are dealing with major life and career transitions. In addition, my passion includes advocacy for anti-bullying and mental health in which I contribute my free time spreading awareness, providing expertise on media platforms and delivering keynote talks in schools nationwide. When I'm not working with young adults, I am growing my brand as a content strategist. I have successfully crafted a business in storytelling as a Journalist, Author and Ghostwriter.

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