When you know you’re great, there’s no need to hate. But of course, without question, there’s always people in our lives who can’t help but criticize every move we make. I’m not referring to constructive criticism because we all need that in our lives, I’m talking about haters; you know, the people who wake up each day on a mission to make your life miserable and continue to talk sh*t in order to make themselves feel better. This could be our boss, our parents, our friends….hey, most of the time negativity comes from people we don’t know and it’s not always easy to deal with either. I was bullied in both elementary and high school. I was an athlete, I bloomed really late, and I was an all-around nerd who tried my best to keep it together, even though I always felt like I was falling apart. I dealt with criticism from bullies who often made me feel small and worthless. I was depressed and I didn’t go to my high school prom or graduation ceremony; by far, some of the worst years of my life. Let’s fast forward nearly 10 years later. You’d think that the worst was over, but some of my past bullies still try to pull the same crap today. But the difference now is that I’m a grown a$$ woman (cue Beyonce’s Grown Woman, one of my favorites) and I handle criticism on another level. My past experiences have made me stronger and I love the woman I’m becoming. So when I hear anything negative about me, to be honest, it does hurt, but only for a millisecond. Not even. Instead of stressing I’ve learned to keep it moving and look at criticism as a blessing and I’m about to teach you how to do the same.
So what do you do when you’re backed into a corner and you feel as if there is no way out? Here’s a survival guide that will work every time.
1. Choose peace over conflict
Don’t become one of those crazy chics on VH1’s Basketball Wives or the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It’s not cute. Instead of approaching this situation with a killer instinct and creating unnecessary drama, do yourself a favor and keep calm and carry on. It’s easier said than done, boy do I know, but your reputation is everything and the last thing you want to be known for at your age is a hot temper. Take a second, breathe, count to ten and like Ice Cube once said, check yo’self before you wreck yo’self. If your haters want to waste their energy, let them go ahead. Don’t give into their game. Instead, kill them with kindness. It will annoy the hell out of them.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Seriously, don’t even waste your time or energy stressing over what other people think about you. What’s most important is what you think about you. I highly suggest reading this awesome book which further explores my point.
3. You have the chance to practice forgiveness
Over time dealing with criticism becomes overwhelming and you may accumulate baggage. Don’t carry around it around with you. Drop the dead weight because it will hold you down. You are too blessed to be stressed. Forgive and focus on the next positive step.
4. “Living well is the best revenge.” – George Herbert
Ain’t that the truth. Your haters are just waiting for you to fail and are deeply bothered by your success which is why you should keep striving to do better and show how much fun you’re having while doing it. Life is always better when you’re laughing.
Peace & Love,