I wrote down many goals during my twenties and having it all together most definitely wasn’t one of them. Of course, I had the desire to figure some shit out, but I’ve always been the type of person who enjoyed the ride; never quick to actually arrive at the final destination. After falling on my face several times, I realized there are so many lessons to learn, people to meet and experiences to be had along the way. More importantly, I look at rejection as protection. Didn’t get the guy? He wasn’t right for you. Didn’t land the dream job? A better one could be waiting around the corner. Lost a friend? Perhaps they weren’t ready to handle your glow up. etc. etc. I grew up reading stories about my heroes and every.single.time they fought a battle and didn’t give up, greatness was waiting on the other side. It made me very level-headed early in the game.
Anxiety still exists, but I’m getting better at handling it.
So many of us are on the pursuit of perfection. We expect life to be a straight line. My peers and (some) mentees often critique themselves and at times even shed tears when the plan they envision doesn’t go exactly the way they wanted it to. Though I applaud you for being optimistic, your twenties are a defining decade and a critical period for adult development. Still, don’t believe me? Watch one of my favorite videos by Gary Vee who states, “this will be some of the greatest years of your life. This is when you don’t go practical and safe.” I aligned with this message before I knew who Gary was. Below are three small calculated steps I made in my twenties that I still use today.
It’s okay to have more than one passion
Before I started officially working at 14 years old, I was heavily involved in church, played sports and volunteered whenever I could. As my life experiences evolved, so did my interests. Kate White, Author and former Editor-In-Chief of many of our favorite publications says, “most of the women, I realized, had found a career they loved not by contemplating what would turn them on but by bumping into someplace out in the world. If you haven’t found your calling yet, the best thing to do is get your butt off your chair, fill your life with a wide array of unusual experiences, and allow yourself to bump into what will exhilarate you.” Are you feeling stagnant? Try something new. Pick up a class, learn a skill, sign up for meetup.com, plan a mastermind or vision board with friends. Run into your passion. And for those of you who have already discovered it, keep running and don’t limit yourself. As a business owner, my company goals pivot frequently. I have an overall vision but the strategy is always a work in progress. I stay flexible.
Choose a job based on culture rather than salary
During my time in the corporate world, it wasn’t until I experienced my first panic attack at my desk that I became very clear on what I looked for in a job. Young people often forget that we are also interviewing the company too. The chemistry and fit should work both ways. Unfortunately, due to the economic climate, I was once guilty of succumbing to the pressure of accepting an offer I really didn’t want. I understand there will be times when you have to bite the bullet, but I also believe that if you choose any job over your mental health, something is terribly wrong. This insight changed my life. As someone who was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, you cannot pay me enough money to work for an asshole. I’ve never been afraid to walk away from an opportunity that didn’t serve me well. And let’s not mistake this for walking away from hard work or the understanding that not every day will be a good day. But I’ve had some pretty shitty work environments, reported to men who were predators and let’s not forget about politics. Standing your ground comes with consequences. As a result, my bank account has been in the red more times than I’m afraid to admit, but at least my peace of mind is intact. Using this tactic in my career today, I’m very particular about my business partners/clients and the nature of our working relationship. Fit is important. While I understand you can’t always have the perfect scenario, I’m going to do everything in my power to get as close to my dream situation as possible.
Apply for jobs you are not qualified for
While I wear many hats, the one thing that ties it all together is that all of my work helps people see beyond the limits of their circumstances. And that’s a mission that’s extremely important to me because there was a time in my life when my circumstances felt impossible to overcome. I mean, if you’d told my teenaged self that I would be the woman I am, living the life I live, I would never have believed you. To be fair, I had plenty of reasons not to. My past is filled with experiences that made this career path difficult to create/forge. Would you have expected the girl who failed Grade 11 and 12 English to be trusted to write for million-dollar executives and one of the most reputable business platforms on the web? Would anyone take life or business advice from the chick who could barely maintain a C average all through high school, struggling to get by in every subject? By a lot of people’s standards, I’m not qualified for any of the shit that I do. I guess you could say that my constant academic failure was a major fuckup. And in some ways, I agree. It was frustrating to try so hard and never measure up. And when I decided to drop out of college, it came with a “what now?” that I had absolutely no answer for. All of it felt like a forecast for disaster.
And everyone agreed. My high school teachers didn’t believe I could be a writer, no matter how many notebooks I filled up with stories and ideas. My parents thought I was absolutely crazy for wanting to pursue journalism. They had seen all the report cards with the bad English grades, and that’s why they pushed me into the college program I ended up walking away from. And all of it made me question the dream I thought I had. But regardless of the naysayers, I found a place inside myself where nothing is impossible. Raise your hand even when you feel unqualified. Often times we may feel like we don’t have the right to be in certain rooms, talk to certain people, or hold certain jobs. But remember that, I don’t have a journalism degree, no MBA, none of it. What I do have is an unshakeable work ethic and a willingness to learn, and those things have carried me a long way every time I pursue an opportunity that seems outside my reach. I encourage you to raise your hand, even when you don’t check all the boxes.
I hope you take your next career jump with confidence.